Awareness of Natural Respiration
The following has been translated and adapted from the seventh in a series of 44 Hindi discourses broadcast on Zee TV. It was originally published in the February 1999 issue of the Vipaœyan± Patrik±.
The goal of vipassana meditation is to purify the mind
com-pletely by eradicating all mental impurities such as anger, hatred,
passion, fear etc. For this, one must gain complete knowledge of the body, of
the mind and of the mental im-purities at the experiential level, which is done
with the help of respiration.
if one wants to understand one’s own physical and mental
nature, one must use a pure object of concentration—natu-ral, normal
respiration. One should not try to regulate the breath or do any breathing
exercise. Nor should one repeat any word or mantra or visualize any shape, form
or imagi-nary object along with awareness of respiration. One should observe
bare respiration, as it is.
when one observes respiration, one begins to understand the
nature of the mind. One reality about the mind becomes very clear: the mind is
very fleeting, very fickle. It wanders repeatedly from one object to another.
Where does it wan-der? It wanders to so many objects. Even if one kept a diary,
one would not be able to make a list of all the objects. But, if the meditator
is attentive, he will see that the mind wanders in two areas only: either in
the past or in the future. It recalls some past incident and starts to roll in
thoughts of the past, “this had happened; this had not happened. ” suddenly it
may jump to the future and start rolling in thoughts of the future, “this must
happen; this must not happen. ”the
meditator observes this present reality: he witnesses the nature of the mind objectively.
Sometimes the mind wanders in the past, sometimes in the future. It never stays
in the present.
But one has to live in the present, not in the past. The past
moment is gone forever. One cannot bring back that moment in return for all the
wealth in the world. Similarly, one cannot live in the future. When the future becomes
the present, only then can one live in it. So one can live neither in the past nor
in the future. One has to live in the present, and yet, the mind constantly tries
to escape into a past or future that is unattainable. One has not learned how to
live; one has not learned the art of living.
Life can be really lived only in the present. Therefore, the
first step of this technique is to develop awareness of a present reality: the breath
entering or leaving the nostrils. The breath may pass through the left nostril,
through the right nostril, or through both the nostrils simultaneously. One may
find that after observing one or two breaths, the mind wanders away. One accepts
this fact smilingly and again brings the mind back to respiration. The mind wanders
again and again and one keeps returning to the awareness of respiration.
This does not mean that when one learns this technique one forgets
the past completely or does not plan for the fu-ture. Oh no! After one learns the
art of living in the present, one can easily recall things of the past whenever
necessary and make suitable decisions about the future much more effectively.
Sometimes a thought may arise in the mind and before it is completed,
another thought arises. Before that thought is completed, a third thought arises.
Thoughts arise without any sequence or meaning. Such mental behavior is com-monly
regarded as a sign of madness.An example: A plate of food is served to a mad person who
has been hungry since many days. He is happy because he was very hungry. He
takes a morsel but before he can eat, another thought arises in his mind—“I am
in the bath-room, I have come here to have a bath and this is a cake of soap,”
and he starts rubbing the food on his body. Then another thought arises—“This
person standing before me is my enemy, he has come to kill me. Before he kills
me, let A discerning meditator discovers that his mind is also full
of delusions, full of ignorance. In the ancient language, this was called moha
(ignorance). Because of this habit of continuously generating craving, aversion
or ignorance, the mind is unhappy and agitated. At the surface level of the
mind, one tries to remain aware and to avoid generating craving and aversion.
At times, one may feel that the surface part of the mind has become very wise
and does not gener-ate craving, aversion or ignorance any longer. But this is a
very small part of the mind. The larger part of the mind, its deeper layers, is
generating craving, aversion or ignorance every moment. All mental impurities
arise because of the stock of these impurities in the mind. The deeper layers
of the mind are unable to come out of this strong habit pattern of craving,
aversion, and ignorance.
During the whole day, there may be only a few mo-ments when
one is able to cut oneself off from the past as well as the future and remain
in the present. The mind is fully concentrated on respiration, the truth of the
present moment. There is no delusion, no ignorance. One does not generate
craving for incoming breath or aversion towards outgoing breath. One simply
observes the breath entering and leaving the nostrils objectively without reacting
to it. In such a moment, the mind is free from craving, aversion, and delusion;
it is completely pure. This moment of purity at the conscious level has a
strong impact on the old im-purities accumulated in the deeper levels of the
mind. The burning coals of craving, aversion and ignorance that one has
accumulated within are smoldering. One has put thick layers of ash on them. The
Buddha said that it is like burn-ing coals covered by ash. It may seem that
there is no fire under the layer of ash. But one is burning within because of
these impurities. The contact of this internal burning with the coolness of
this one moment of purity is like the contact of positive and negative forces.
It produces an explosion, like the eruption of a volcano within. Some of the
deep-rooted impurities may come to the surface and manifest as various physical
or mental discomforts such as pain in the legs or in the head, or fear or
agitation. What seems to be a problem is actually a sign of success in the
meditation. When one cuts open an abscess, pus is bound to come to the surface.
Similarly, the operation of the mind has started and some of the underlying pus
has started to come out of the wound. Although the process is unpleasant, this
is the only way to get rid of the pus, to remove the impurities. If one
continues to work in the proper way, all these difficulties will gradually
diminish.
When one pours a handful of water on a coal-stove to
extinguish the fire, there is a reaction; there is a sound, “chung.” When cold
water is poured again, there is the sound of “chung” again. The hot stove will
continue to make that sound until its temperature is the same as that of the
water. Once this happens, it will not make any more sound when more water is
poured on it. Similarly, when drops of this cool water of mental purity fall on
the burning coals of the impurities within, it produces an explosion. Because
of that, the meditator will feel restless. This is another reason why one is
advised to learn the technique at a meditation center under the guidance of an
experienced teacher.
If one works according to the instructions of an
ex-perienced guide at a meditation center, one learns to be equanimous in all
situations. When one learns to keep the mind balanced, the mind becomes purer
and purer. The purpose of meditation is to purify the mind. The devel-opment of
a pure mind results in real happiness, real peace, real harmony, real
liberation.
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